Since it's been so long I guess my first post should be about what steps I've made and how my path to patriarchy is going. Three months after my last post, I moved to the town of Silver City NM. I worked for the local Cat dealer at the Tyrone copper mine. Pretty interesting job, huge machines that I worked on and got to test drive, and a 55% pay increase from my last job. So was doing much better financially. Silver was strange in that it was part redneck mountain town, part hippie commune, part Mexican wannabe cholo ghetto. Lots of loose girls and single moms. I went on one date in a year and a half... a blind date... with a whale. Found that if your gonna let one of your buddies set you up, you had better make sure he knows how you like your women. He liked big booties, even if it meant everything else was big.
There were a few girls I should've asked out, especially one auburn haired beauty that worked at a restaurant I went to regularly. I've stated that I'm an introvert, and introspective; but I guess I didn't let on how bad it was. I just don't talk to people when I'm out. I have no problem at work or church or any place where it's expected that you mingle and converse with people, but if I'm at a bar or a restaurant I just don't. If someone starts talking to me I tend to cut it off quickly. My internal dialogue goes like: why are you bothering me? I don't want you near me. F*** off! I should add that I'm not bad looking, quite the opposite, I get checked out just about anywhere I go. I trimmed the beard down a couple weeks ago (left some stubble, I never completely shave) and have been kind of shocked how much more attention I've been getting.
Anyway, I got tired of the political crap at the mine and moved out to DFW this past June. Wanted to get near most of my family, and have always wanted to live around here. Turned out being somewhat a grass was greener situation, I miss my thousand yard shooting range and endless riding trails and good hunting. But, here I am, almost a year and only one date. Started a Christian mingle profile, pretty much the same as any dating site, saw a girl that was fairly cute and interested in similar stuff. Went out. Well... she wasn't fat. But I like at least a little meat on dem bones. Learned to always go with the worst looking picture.
I guess I've made a little progress, but not nearly what I was hoping for. I'm not sure what I rank as in Vox's hierarchy. I was probably a delta in the past, but I left all delusions of women in my wake. Not a gamma, because I'm not a little bitch. Maybe just a solitary beta, I hang out with one guy from work at local climbing gyms, but I am by myself the majority of the time. Sigma is probably best as my goal, it really requires that I get more of a purpose in my life, and that's really what I'm lacking right now. I'm not sure I want to continue with my current career, but I really can't think of anything else to do. Guess I should just pray about it.
Tuesday, March 10, 2015
So, it's been a few years. I read through some of my posts and the thing that sticks out the most to me is how young and inexperienced I sound. I guess I committed the same sin as any other young person, that is thinking I knew more than I did. It's so obvious to me now, but I guess that's just experience talking; and I realize there's still a ton I don't know. I'm going to try to make an effort to write on a regular basis, but I make no promises.