I would like to state the events that lead to the creation of this
blog, and why it is so extremely necessary that men take to heart the
need to be patriarchs.
Firstly, I am a rather introspective
person, added to being an introvert that makes me quiet and bad at
talking to people I don't know. I don't use this as an excuse, but an
issue I have to overcome, and I have been doing better.
Next, I
met a girl about two years ago. She was a good girl, but I met her
before I had choked down the red pill, so its safe to assume that I
jacked up just about everything I could. I was very beta and couldn't
understand why she didn't respond to my caring, or the emotions I showed
her, or to the thousands of texts I sent her... Ya I needed help. The
relationship lasted seven agonizing months, as I said she was a good
girl and I think she sensed that there was a better man buried under all
the crap, so she put up with the beta stuff for a long time. Ironically
I was the one to call it off in the one alpha move I could muster, too
little too late.
My friend Jack then introduced me to the
manosphere, and the learning began. I looked back on how I acted with
much clearer vision and was sickened by what I had done. The pill was
swallowed, and done willingly. I found that while I may not be a natural
alpha I had many natural attributes that were good for game, I just had
to not be afraid to use them. It's still something I'm figuring out, I
have a problem with apathy that keeps me from initiating contact, and I
absolutely despise where I live. Its filled with overweight women with
entitlement issues, I'll say that I live in a southern border town and
leave it at that. I have eventual plans to get out of here, but need to
make some money first.
The last reason for the start of this blog
and by far the hardest hitting was the death of my uncle. He had a wife
and two kids under ten years old. He shot himself.
I don't pretend
to know what he was thinking or what were the exact circumstances that
lead to his decision, but I know that knowledge of game would have kept
him from such an irrational action. In essence, killing himself was the
most beta action he could do. I know that money was an issue, they had
just finished a very large renovation to their house, he had a very bad
back and a job that required heavy lifting on a daily basis, those
things on top of an alcohol dependency (he wasn't a drunk but felt he
needed beer to relax) left him in a difficult position to say the least.
Now I want to make sure you realize I don't blame my aunt in any way,
but if my uncle had just said no to the renovation or had said to wait,
money wouldn't have been an issue. There's also the fact that any of his
family or friends would have gladly lent him some money. Of course
that's not something a man wants to do, because it's an embarrassing
position to be in. All that being said, the decision was made and now my
young cousins are going to go through life without a father and my aunt
without a husband. In truth I despise him for that, I feel that what he
did was a betrayal to my family and if he hadn't of died, I would have
killed him.
That line of thought is harsh I know, but the action
brings out the worst in me. I believe he took the easiest path, the one
that took away any responsibility he had towards his family. He threw
away what I am searching for, a relationship with a good woman,
fatherhood, friendship, and faith in God. It's like he decided that way
of life wasn't good enough, and I take that as an insult.
Now
that's all pretty heavy and not something you want to think about, but
there it is. I have chosen to use all these things as examples of what
not to do and how not to act, and I share them with the hope that
someone in a similar situation will be prevented from going down the
same path. I want to stress that the use of game in a way that agrees
with what is stated in the Bible will keep you from a large majority of
common problems, and not just relationship problems but money and
general day-to-day life problems.
So take into consideration what I
said, even if it doesn't directly apply, and even if you live a pretty
alpha lifestyle. The strongest people in the world have days that make
them want to throw it all away, so us normal people can't expect it to
be any easier.
