Why Waste Your Time?

For those of us that have yet to be married, the question of whether or not to go out with a girl who you know isn't a virgin is a valid concern in today's world.
On one hand, experience with women is a good thing to have and you can't get it without approaching and going out. You can rationalise and say that any experience you get is good and it doesn't matter where you get it as long as you don't overstep any personal moral boundaries.

Then there's the side that says any experience you get should be from a girl who would make a suitable wife, otherwise your wasting your time and potentially passing up chances to meet a good girl.

So what do you do? Run game on any cute girl that comes around despite the fact she's obviously been around, or ignore them and desperately search for the diamonds in the rough? And it's not as if you can tell with some girls, they wear  signs or  t-shirts that state whether they're sexually active or not(for the most part, heh).
I would say that if your serious about finding a girl who is marriage potential, you should stick to only seriously going out with virgins. That means that at some point before you get emotionally connected your going to have to ask whether she's a virgin or not. Now I'd like to cover asking girls about their sexual history in a later post, but I will say that you need to do it in a way that doesn't bring up her defences. That means you can't make her feel like a slut, otherwise you'll never get a straight answer and may just get lied to. But the sooner you ask the better, it sucks to really like a girl only to find out she's given it up to some deutsch in high-school.

Now let me state why it could be harmful to go out with a sullied girl(heh). As I stated, if you have already made a decision to only marry a virgin then your wasting your time and potentially missing suitable mates. Then there's the fact of moral degradation, the longer you go out with a non-virgin the more you start to see things her way, "It's not wrong as long as you're in love", "We've been together for a few months, don't you think it's time?", "Are you really a man? Do you like boys or something?". Unless you have an iron will, you will eventually break down, and you'll even enjoy the moment. BUT, as a Christian man is that how we're supposed to think and act? Just scan through Proverbs and see all the verses pertaining to avoiding women with loose morals. Once you let one part of your life go to sin the rest will soon follow. On top of that, there's the fact that when your with a girl for a while you start to produce less testosterone, which in turn makes it harder to leave.

So to bring it all together, I think it's good and quite healthy to approach girls, any girls. Try your best to tighten up your game and set goals like getting numbers or dates, but don't wait a long time to find out her sexual history, or try to rationalise her behaviour as anything but what it is. Use stone-cold logic as a sharp blade to cut yourself off from a girl who will only bring you away from your goal of finding a good woman. Last of all, don't give up! God rewards the patient, if you wait on the Lord and ask for wisdom and clarity He will bless you and reward you, perhaps not how you were expecting, but in the way you need most.

Abandoned to the Wolves

I was in various private Christian schools from kindergarten up through the end of my senior year in high school. I've been part of a few congregations. The closest thing I ever got to apologetics was a copy of Lee Strobel's The Case for Christ. It's, basically, the Christian version of the 'New Atheist' books and therefore doesn't count. Point is, if any Christian should have been intellectually prepared for an atheistic onslaught against my faith, it should have been me.

There is a meme that religion is always at odds with science and rational, logical thought. It goes all the way back to the idea that the so called Dark Ages were times of Papal control and persecution of science and that the enlightenment saved humanity.(A blatant lie I intend to deal with in a later post) This meme, along with the Reformation(also for a later post), helped push aside the Aristotelian/ Thomism philosophical theology that had more or less held sway for centuries. The Faith separated from rational thought. The closest things to arguments for Christianity were along the lines of, 'gotta have faith', 'God works in mysterious ways', and a handful of basic logical fallacies. Thankfully, apologetics and religious philosophy have been making a comeback.

The main problem is, Churches and Christian schools are simply not preparing kids for what will be faced out in the wide world. How is a kid supposed to keep his faith when his college is a bastion of the faithless and the best his church could do was,"Well, it's all in God's hands and we weren't meant to know everything. Remember that we're saved by faith, so just believe and trust in God." That is in no way, shape, or form adequate preparation for dealing with anything. That sort of talk is how Christians end up thinking Dawkins knows of what he speaks and that he presents a good argument for atheism or at least agnosticism. If churches want to bring people back into the fold and attract converts, numero uno in the plan of attack is EQUIPPING YOUR SOLDIERS! You don't win wars, and make no mistake we are most certainly at war, by arming the front lines with Nerf guns and water balloons.

Now, as to the first cause of this post(if your church taught you apologetics you'd get that joke.): If a Christian man wants to be a leader, a Patriarch, he must be able to stand up for what he believes in. 1Peter 3:15 for the curious.

Think about it, if you court a girl and someone calls you out on your faith how will you look. If you make the other party look like a cretin, congratulations! The chick now has the hots for you. On the other hand, hemming and hawing about, 'having faith' will kill any attraction you managed to build. Nice going Casanova, kiss that relationship good bye. You have failed. This ties into having confidence. And knowing your way around theological arguments will most certainly give you a bit of confidence.

So, get studying! Try Vox, Edward Feser, and William Lane Craig for starters. Vox's Irrational Atheist is mostly an answer to the New Atheists, but as I said, making your enemies look stupid never hurts. Give Chesterton and Lewis a go as well.

Impetus

I would like to state the events that lead to the creation of this blog, and why it is so extremely necessary that men take to heart the need to be patriarchs.

Firstly, I am a rather introspective person, added to being an introvert that makes me quiet and bad at talking to people I don't know. I don't use this as an excuse, but an issue I have to overcome, and I have been doing better.

Next, I met a girl about two years ago. She was a good girl, but I met her before I had choked down the red pill, so its safe to assume that I jacked up just about everything I could. I was very beta and couldn't understand why she didn't respond to my caring, or the emotions I showed her, or to the thousands of texts I sent her... Ya I needed help. The relationship lasted seven agonizing months, as I said she was a good girl and I think she sensed that there was a better man buried under all the crap, so she put up with the beta stuff for a long time. Ironically I was the one to call it off in the one alpha move I could muster, too little too late.

My friend Jack then introduced me to the manosphere, and the learning began. I looked back on how I acted with much clearer vision and was sickened by what I had done. The pill was swallowed, and done willingly. I found that while I may not be a natural alpha I had many natural attributes that were good for game, I just had to not be afraid to use them. It's still something I'm figuring out, I have a problem with apathy that keeps me from initiating contact, and I absolutely despise where I live. Its filled with overweight women with entitlement issues, I'll say that I live in a southern border town and leave it at that. I have eventual plans to get out of here, but need to make some money first.

The last reason for the start of this blog and by far the hardest hitting was the death of my uncle. He had a wife and two kids under ten years old. He shot himself.
I don't pretend to know what he was thinking or what were the exact circumstances that lead to his decision, but I know that knowledge of game would have kept him from such an irrational action. In essence, killing himself was the most beta action he could do. I know that money was an issue, they had just finished a very large renovation to their house, he had a very bad back and a job that required heavy lifting on a daily basis, those things on top of an alcohol dependency (he wasn't a drunk but felt he needed beer to relax) left him in a difficult position to say the least. Now I want to make sure you realize I don't blame my aunt in any way, but if my uncle had just said no to the renovation or had said to wait, money wouldn't have been an issue. There's also the fact that any of his family or friends would have gladly lent him some money. Of course that's not something a man wants to do, because it's an embarrassing position to be in. All that being said, the decision was made and now my young cousins are going to go through life without a father and my aunt without a husband. In truth I despise him for that, I feel that what he did was a betrayal to my family and if he hadn't of died, I would have killed him.

That line of thought is harsh I know, but the action brings out the worst in me. I believe he took the easiest path, the one that took away any responsibility he had towards his family. He threw away what I am searching for, a relationship with a good woman, fatherhood, friendship, and faith in God. It's like he decided that way of life wasn't good enough, and I take that as an insult.

Now that's all pretty heavy and not something you want to think about, but there it is. I have chosen to use all these things as examples of what not to do and how not to act, and I share them with the hope that someone in a similar situation will be prevented from going down the same path. I want to stress that the use of game in a way that agrees with what is stated in the Bible will keep you from a large majority of common problems, and not just relationship problems but money and general day-to-day life problems.

So take into consideration what I said, even if it doesn't directly apply, and even if you live a pretty alpha lifestyle. The strongest people in the world have days that make them want to throw it all away, so us normal people can't expect it to be any easier.

Father Poll

Captain Capitalism has a poll asking who wants to be a father, check it out, the comments are rather good.

Cooking and Other Reasons June Cleaver Was a Better Person Than You

In Solemn's post, What Makes a Good Girl  he mentions some of the Good Girl Traits that should be sought in a potential wife(and any LTR really). At the end,I mentioned two things. The first, true femininity, was a sorta cop-out. It encompasses a number of traits that a girl should have. It even includes my second recommendation: cooking.

First, I'm a good cook. I don't have any real trouble making anything. If I have the recipe, I can fix it. When I do cook, I want everyone out of my kitchen.

Second, the fact that I can cook does not mean that the new age churchian equal submission BS flies. I expect a girl to know her way around the counter top, modern gender roles be damned. There is something deeply and simply feminine  about a girl preparing a meal for her loved ones. Even though many of the top competitive chefs are men, there is a vitally important difference between them and a dinner table set for the husband and kids. I'm honestly not sure it can be put into words, just that it is a primal feeling of 'rightness' if you will. Unfortunately, thanks to feminist memes, the notion of a wife doing the cooking has come to be seen as 'chaining her to the stove.' Because it is awful when a woman isn't "free" to fight traffic morning and evening, send her flesh and blood to mind and soul crushing prisons of PC thought we call public school, and work at a job that the world would probably be better off without.

Now, along with the wifely duty of providing loving nourishment, there was once, when the world made sense, the idea of a women staying home to take care of the house. Look back far enough and she would have had a pretty strong role in the education of her children. That, at least, has seen a resurgence with home schooling becoming popular in the last two decades.  In any case, thanks to a surplus in labor (thanks again feminism)  women are less free to choose to be a Stay at Home Mother. Yet, it is still a possibility. And if you intend to take a wife* it should be a major goal. As I give it some thought, general home-keeping is a pretty massive GGT and a very desirable  feminine virtue. In a traditional family(Father, Mother, and kids) The mother tends towards, well, motherly behaviour. Sort of the good cop to Dad's bad cop. She's there to make it better. Whether it is cuts and bruises, a sympathetic ear and shoulder or just a crap day that gets junior down.

How exactly is a woman going to do any of this if she is off empowering herself  so she can pay other people to take care of her kids and husband.


*Don't say 'get married' say 'take a wife'. It just sounds better.

What Makes A Good Girl?

There has been a question on my mind ever since I started reading manosphere blogs, how do I tell if a girl is a good girl? This is not an easy question. It is well-known what qualifies a girl for slut or whore status, but what distinct qualities makes a girl a good woman for a Christian man?

First off would obviously be innocence, the Bible repeats many times that sex is to be reserved for marriage. There’s a deeper part of this though, how do you know if she’s being truthful about being a virgin? That picks up on another GGT (Good  Girl Trait, I’m lazy), truthfulness. This trait is something that needs to be systematically tested, you have to ask her things that you know the answer to, which may require some digging to find out. Truthfulness relies on another trait, the decision to not deflect responsibility. This is important because it decides her ability to rationalize. Choosing not to shift blame, she is much less likely to be a complete psycho.

Rationalization is probably the most talked about subject in the manosphere. It is given life with the term ‘rationalization hamster’, and is generally thought to be a source of constant strife between men and women. Without rationalization women would be forced to use logic in their day-to-day lives, making them less mysterious to the average male and much easier to deal with. BUT, they would then be like men, men were given logic by God for a reason and the same goes for rationalization for women. Rationalization is alright in moderation, it allows women to see themselves in a different situation and when backed up  a healthy dose of male logic it can to something good previously unseen. I like to use Athol’s example here, the captain and first officer is the best situation for this rationalization/logic tag-team, the woman can bring up a fresh idea and if it seems viable the man can implement it, if it doesn’t then its the man’s duty to shoot it down.

The next GGT is a sense of shame, its important for a girl to be ashamed of certain things, it keeps her from being a slut for one. Shame also keeps a woman from talking bad about people and especially her man behind their backs, it also helps to keep her tied to her man, a good girl would be very ashamed of doing anything that would cause her man to be righteously angry with her.
This GGT is more for men currently seeking a wife, naiveté. One could argue that a naive girl is more likely to get herself in trouble, but that’s a more general form than what I’m writing about. I’m thinking more of a naiveté towards the physical, the worldly, and feminism in  general. It may be more accurate to call it a lack of brainwashing. Either way its important that a girl doesn’t have an opinion solidly set that a man is going to have a very hard time changing. (A girl brainwashed from feminism will lean towards ‘making a home, raising our children and being surrounded by a loving family won’t be fulfilling. It’s practically slavery! I should get a soul crushing job for a decade or so first.’-Jack Dublin)

The fourth GGT is modesty, this word gets thrown around a lot at places like church and schools, but its true meaning is hedged out. It’s not just how she dresses or speaks, or if she acts decently, its more that modesty needs to be part of her being, something that decides what she does. She needs to think modestly, not put herself above others, not be competitive or condescending.(Although we do want a good girl to compete for us just a bit.-Jack Dublin)

Last of all, a good girl needs to be kind. Have you ever been around a girl that’s genuinely kind? It’s a marvel to behold, something to be treasured. A kind girl won’t get pissed over little things, she won’t try to scheme or back stab, she’ll do her best to make sure people are in good spirits and comfortable. This is perhaps my most sought after trait, I have yet to find a girl who cares how others feel without putting herself and her wants first.
I missed many GGT’s, but I wanted to hear from any readers we may have and see what everyone seeks in a good girl.
(I’d throw in a vote for true femininity. Feminists are a blight on the earth. A truly feminine woman is like balm for a man. Along with that, decent cooking skills. I’ll expand on it a bit in my own post. -Jack Dublin)

Declaration of Intent

Getting married in the US these days is a bad choice. I won't argue that. I won't begrudge anyone who hedges their bets and stays a bachelor. As the saying goes, why buy the cow when the milk is free. I will never recommend any man get married. If some cars randomly exploded who could honestly advise owning one. So, I find it morally reprehensible to suggest to any man that he attempt marriage with the world as it is.
Be that as it may, I actually still want to get married, have kids, raise a family, blah blah. You get the idea. The current culture is not conducive to that end. Feminism poisons what it touches, and it has vomited all over the formerly sanctified joining of two into one flesh. We practically have an entire economy based on tearing families apart. Even the churches are a tainted and corrupted arm of this system. Just ask a church going 'lady' (and I use that word with a sneer) about Ephesians chapter 5. Hell, ask a pastor. I give 10 to 1 odds the phrase 'mutual submission' dribbles impotently from most mouths.
All this and more (oh so much more) stands between me and my goal. To that end, I make an observation.

If the world is unfair, then I will make it unfair in my favor.

I will use everything from the text of the Holy Bible to the most cunning of PUA tactics. I have no idea how long this journey will take, where it will take me, or how it may end. For all I know in a year I might say, "I AM DONE!" throw up my hands and take a new path. Probably monastery or some sort of  harem.
Or I might die, surrounded by my kids, grand kids, great-grand kids, great great-grand kids and great great great-grand kids. Either way, no use waiting. I rather doubt the weather is going to get better any time soon.