Beginning of the Year Update

  Not gonna lie, was like "Oh hey my blog, I should write something". Still working at the same job, it got a little worse a couple months ago, but now is considerably better, to the point that I see myself working here for a couple years at least. I would love to get a field tech position, but they are notoriously hard to get into, unless you know somebody. Had got into it a little with a buddy and haven't really talked to him since, just haven't seen a good reason to be friends when we constantly drag each other down and stir up crap. Oh well, I'm sure we'll get over it but I'm not gonna be 'that guy' again. Have got back into climbing with a vengeance, ha ha, got a membership and am there 2 or 3 times a week. You can't climb everyday and expect your hands to be healthy. I love climbing, it seems silly, but finishing that hard problem and advancing up the difficulty scale is very satisfying, and its the most fun way I can think of to work out. Also trying to force myself to do some yoga to strengthen my back, but its hard to get the motivation.


    The most important thing over the past 9 months is I have drawn much closer to God. I can't put into writing how humbling His mercy and grace are, and how much He means to me now. I've been a Christian in name since I was a kid, and I've had ups and downs in my relationship with my Creator, but I've never had the daily relationship I have now. Its amazing how I can pray to Him and be brought to tears by his presence. I am a follower of Christ my Savior, and though I am no where near perfect and screw up on a daily basis, but that doesn't stop me and I won't let myself feel ashamed, because I am redeemed!

   Lastly, I haven't yet met a woman, but I continuously and faithfully pray for the chance to meet a woman who could be a good wife. I believe that if that is God's will then it will come to pass in His time. May God richly bless you that are in His favor, and those that aren't I pray that you have the opportunity to draw close to Him and experience His glory, and the peace that comes with salvation.

Where I'm At

  Since it's been so long I guess my first post should be about what steps I've made and how my path to patriarchy is going. Three months after my last post, I moved to the town of Silver City NM. I worked for the local Cat dealer at the Tyrone copper mine. Pretty interesting job, huge machines that I worked on and got to test drive, and a 55% pay increase from my last job. So was doing much better financially. Silver was strange in that it was part redneck mountain town, part hippie commune, part Mexican wannabe cholo ghetto. Lots of loose girls and single moms. I went on one date in a year and a half... a blind date... with a whale. Found that if your gonna let one of your buddies set you up, you had better make sure he knows how you like your women. He liked big booties, even if it meant everything else was big.
      There were a few girls I should've asked out, especially one auburn haired beauty that worked at a restaurant I went to regularly. I've stated that I'm an introvert, and introspective; but I guess I didn't let on how bad it was. I just don't talk to people when I'm out. I have no problem at work or church or any place where it's expected that you mingle and converse with people, but if I'm at a bar or a restaurant I just don't. If someone starts talking to me I tend to cut it off quickly. My internal dialogue goes like: why are you bothering me? I don't want you near me. F*** off! I should add that I'm not bad looking, quite the opposite, I get checked out just about anywhere I go. I trimmed the beard down a couple weeks ago (left some stubble, I never completely shave) and have been kind of shocked how much more attention I've been getting.
      Anyway, I got tired of the political crap at the mine and moved out to DFW this past June. Wanted to get near most of my family, and have always wanted to live around here. Turned out being somewhat a grass was greener situation, I miss my thousand yard shooting range and endless riding trails and good hunting. But, here I am, almost a year and only one date. Started a Christian mingle profile, pretty much the same as any dating site, saw a girl that was fairly cute and interested in similar stuff. Went out. Well... she wasn't fat. But I like at least a little meat on dem bones. Learned to always go with the worst looking picture.
      I guess I've made a little progress, but not nearly what I was hoping for. I'm not sure what I rank as in Vox's hierarchy. I was probably a delta in the past, but I left all delusions of women in my wake. Not a gamma, because I'm not a little bitch. Maybe just a solitary beta, I hang out with one guy from work at local climbing gyms, but I am by myself the majority of the time. Sigma is probably best as my goal, it really requires that I get more of a purpose in my life, and that's really what I'm lacking right now. I'm not sure I want to continue with my current career, but I really can't think of anything else to do. Guess I should just pray about it.


Later

Been a While

So, it's been a few years. I read through some of my posts and the thing that sticks out the most to me is how young and inexperienced I sound. I guess I committed the same sin as any other young person, that is thinking I knew more than I did. It's so obvious to me now, but I guess that's just experience talking; and I realize there's still a ton I don't know. I'm going to try to make an effort to write on a regular basis, but I make no promises.

Why Waste Your Time?

For those of us that have yet to be married, the question of whether or not to go out with a girl who you know isn't a virgin is a valid concern in today's world.
On one hand, experience with women is a good thing to have and you can't get it without approaching and going out. You can rationalise and say that any experience you get is good and it doesn't matter where you get it as long as you don't overstep any personal moral boundaries.

Then there's the side that says any experience you get should be from a girl who would make a suitable wife, otherwise your wasting your time and potentially passing up chances to meet a good girl.

So what do you do? Run game on any cute girl that comes around despite the fact she's obviously been around, or ignore them and desperately search for the diamonds in the rough? And it's not as if you can tell with some girls, they wear  signs or  t-shirts that state whether they're sexually active or not(for the most part, heh).
I would say that if your serious about finding a girl who is marriage potential, you should stick to only seriously going out with virgins. That means that at some point before you get emotionally connected your going to have to ask whether she's a virgin or not. Now I'd like to cover asking girls about their sexual history in a later post, but I will say that you need to do it in a way that doesn't bring up her defences. That means you can't make her feel like a slut, otherwise you'll never get a straight answer and may just get lied to. But the sooner you ask the better, it sucks to really like a girl only to find out she's given it up to some deutsch in high-school.

Now let me state why it could be harmful to go out with a sullied girl(heh). As I stated, if you have already made a decision to only marry a virgin then your wasting your time and potentially missing suitable mates. Then there's the fact of moral degradation, the longer you go out with a non-virgin the more you start to see things her way, "It's not wrong as long as you're in love", "We've been together for a few months, don't you think it's time?", "Are you really a man? Do you like boys or something?". Unless you have an iron will, you will eventually break down, and you'll even enjoy the moment. BUT, as a Christian man is that how we're supposed to think and act? Just scan through Proverbs and see all the verses pertaining to avoiding women with loose morals. Once you let one part of your life go to sin the rest will soon follow. On top of that, there's the fact that when your with a girl for a while you start to produce less testosterone, which in turn makes it harder to leave.

So to bring it all together, I think it's good and quite healthy to approach girls, any girls. Try your best to tighten up your game and set goals like getting numbers or dates, but don't wait a long time to find out her sexual history, or try to rationalise her behaviour as anything but what it is. Use stone-cold logic as a sharp blade to cut yourself off from a girl who will only bring you away from your goal of finding a good woman. Last of all, don't give up! God rewards the patient, if you wait on the Lord and ask for wisdom and clarity He will bless you and reward you, perhaps not how you were expecting, but in the way you need most.

Abandoned to the Wolves

I was in various private Christian schools from kindergarten up through the end of my senior year in high school. I've been part of a few congregations. The closest thing I ever got to apologetics was a copy of Lee Strobel's The Case for Christ. It's, basically, the Christian version of the 'New Atheist' books and therefore doesn't count. Point is, if any Christian should have been intellectually prepared for an atheistic onslaught against my faith, it should have been me.

There is a meme that religion is always at odds with science and rational, logical thought. It goes all the way back to the idea that the so called Dark Ages were times of Papal control and persecution of science and that the enlightenment saved humanity.(A blatant lie I intend to deal with in a later post) This meme, along with the Reformation(also for a later post), helped push aside the Aristotelian/ Thomism philosophical theology that had more or less held sway for centuries. The Faith separated from rational thought. The closest things to arguments for Christianity were along the lines of, 'gotta have faith', 'God works in mysterious ways', and a handful of basic logical fallacies. Thankfully, apologetics and religious philosophy have been making a comeback.

The main problem is, Churches and Christian schools are simply not preparing kids for what will be faced out in the wide world. How is a kid supposed to keep his faith when his college is a bastion of the faithless and the best his church could do was,"Well, it's all in God's hands and we weren't meant to know everything. Remember that we're saved by faith, so just believe and trust in God." That is in no way, shape, or form adequate preparation for dealing with anything. That sort of talk is how Christians end up thinking Dawkins knows of what he speaks and that he presents a good argument for atheism or at least agnosticism. If churches want to bring people back into the fold and attract converts, numero uno in the plan of attack is EQUIPPING YOUR SOLDIERS! You don't win wars, and make no mistake we are most certainly at war, by arming the front lines with Nerf guns and water balloons.

Now, as to the first cause of this post(if your church taught you apologetics you'd get that joke.): If a Christian man wants to be a leader, a Patriarch, he must be able to stand up for what he believes in. 1Peter 3:15 for the curious.

Think about it, if you court a girl and someone calls you out on your faith how will you look. If you make the other party look like a cretin, congratulations! The chick now has the hots for you. On the other hand, hemming and hawing about, 'having faith' will kill any attraction you managed to build. Nice going Casanova, kiss that relationship good bye. You have failed. This ties into having confidence. And knowing your way around theological arguments will most certainly give you a bit of confidence.

So, get studying! Try Vox, Edward Feser, and William Lane Craig for starters. Vox's Irrational Atheist is mostly an answer to the New Atheists, but as I said, making your enemies look stupid never hurts. Give Chesterton and Lewis a go as well.

Impetus

I would like to state the events that lead to the creation of this blog, and why it is so extremely necessary that men take to heart the need to be patriarchs.

Firstly, I am a rather introspective person, added to being an introvert that makes me quiet and bad at talking to people I don't know. I don't use this as an excuse, but an issue I have to overcome, and I have been doing better.

Next, I met a girl about two years ago. She was a good girl, but I met her before I had choked down the red pill, so its safe to assume that I jacked up just about everything I could. I was very beta and couldn't understand why she didn't respond to my caring, or the emotions I showed her, or to the thousands of texts I sent her... Ya I needed help. The relationship lasted seven agonizing months, as I said she was a good girl and I think she sensed that there was a better man buried under all the crap, so she put up with the beta stuff for a long time. Ironically I was the one to call it off in the one alpha move I could muster, too little too late.

My friend Jack then introduced me to the manosphere, and the learning began. I looked back on how I acted with much clearer vision and was sickened by what I had done. The pill was swallowed, and done willingly. I found that while I may not be a natural alpha I had many natural attributes that were good for game, I just had to not be afraid to use them. It's still something I'm figuring out, I have a problem with apathy that keeps me from initiating contact, and I absolutely despise where I live. Its filled with overweight women with entitlement issues, I'll say that I live in a southern border town and leave it at that. I have eventual plans to get out of here, but need to make some money first.

The last reason for the start of this blog and by far the hardest hitting was the death of my uncle. He had a wife and two kids under ten years old. He shot himself.
I don't pretend to know what he was thinking or what were the exact circumstances that lead to his decision, but I know that knowledge of game would have kept him from such an irrational action. In essence, killing himself was the most beta action he could do. I know that money was an issue, they had just finished a very large renovation to their house, he had a very bad back and a job that required heavy lifting on a daily basis, those things on top of an alcohol dependency (he wasn't a drunk but felt he needed beer to relax) left him in a difficult position to say the least. Now I want to make sure you realize I don't blame my aunt in any way, but if my uncle had just said no to the renovation or had said to wait, money wouldn't have been an issue. There's also the fact that any of his family or friends would have gladly lent him some money. Of course that's not something a man wants to do, because it's an embarrassing position to be in. All that being said, the decision was made and now my young cousins are going to go through life without a father and my aunt without a husband. In truth I despise him for that, I feel that what he did was a betrayal to my family and if he hadn't of died, I would have killed him.

That line of thought is harsh I know, but the action brings out the worst in me. I believe he took the easiest path, the one that took away any responsibility he had towards his family. He threw away what I am searching for, a relationship with a good woman, fatherhood, friendship, and faith in God. It's like he decided that way of life wasn't good enough, and I take that as an insult.

Now that's all pretty heavy and not something you want to think about, but there it is. I have chosen to use all these things as examples of what not to do and how not to act, and I share them with the hope that someone in a similar situation will be prevented from going down the same path. I want to stress that the use of game in a way that agrees with what is stated in the Bible will keep you from a large majority of common problems, and not just relationship problems but money and general day-to-day life problems.

So take into consideration what I said, even if it doesn't directly apply, and even if you live a pretty alpha lifestyle. The strongest people in the world have days that make them want to throw it all away, so us normal people can't expect it to be any easier.

Father Poll

Captain Capitalism has a poll asking who wants to be a father, check it out, the comments are rather good.